Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
