Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
