youre lurking in front of me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
