He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We need to get me chipped asap
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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