Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Panties = found
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
