I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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