roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
is that a dick in a sweater?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
