Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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