yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
