i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
this is an emotional support booty call
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
