I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
