R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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