so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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