yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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