Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
