I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
