Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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