So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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