I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I smell stomach acid.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
