So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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