Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
