These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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