kristin has been a bad kristin
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
