farters have to be the big spoon...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
