Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
