just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
