Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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