So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
