whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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