let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
