if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
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Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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