You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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