Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize