Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
