My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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