I am puke
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
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and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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