i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
