Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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