And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
