well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
