these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Someone shit on the floor
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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