I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
