You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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