how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She told me I should be a condom model.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
