i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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