Swine flu. Run for my life!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
