you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
