how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
