That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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