I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
