and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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