An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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