I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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