he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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