She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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