His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
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I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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