I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
