Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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