These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
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I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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