God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
