How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
