Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
