You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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