That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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