Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
