Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize