I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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