Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
