If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
