I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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