he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
