dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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