i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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